Why Me, O Lord?

Like Job we take pride in our righteous acts and expect to be rewarded by God’s Divine presence but forgiveness is only in the Redeemer’s blood as an act of mercy and grace.

            The celebrations, the dancing with jubilation and rejoicing with loud music and singing with the king himself leading the merry making for the “Ark of the Lord” had been brought back to where it belonged. But cold water is poured on the great pride and joy for this success as David enters his palace when Michal, King Saul’s daughter, married as a reward and honor for slaying Goliath, derides him “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would” (2 Samuel 6:20). Daniel and his three friends refused to worship any other god except the Most High God Jehovah claiming “The Lord our God is able to save us from the blazing furnace but even if He decides not to, so be it”. They get thrown into the furnace and Daniel into the Lions pit rejoicing in the glorious name of their God. They did not complain “Why me Lord- I have been faithful to you all along”.



“Are they ministers of Christ? I speak as a fool- I am more; in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently; in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep. In journeys often, in perils of waters; in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen; in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness” (2 Corinthians 11:23-27). This is a list of some of the troubles that the legendry Apostle Paul faced in preaching the Gospel. Some will say, but he warned beforehand by the Lord “How much he will suffer for My name”. Paul never complained or said “Why me, Lord”

The Lord Himself experienced the agony of what lay ahead beyond the Gethsemane Park for and He readily admitted His humanness “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”. Yet He prayed to the Father not once but three times “Not My will but Your will”. He did not consider it important to retain His Divine glory that was “His from before the world was” (John 17:5) and the Creator became creation and humbled Himself so much “even to death on the cross” as a common criminal. He never uttered a single time “Why Me, O Lord”.

Why Lord – Little trouble and we exclaim loudly, Where are you God? Why am I made to suffer this? Job cried out in despair “I will not keep silent, I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 7:11). In June, 2008 at about 03.30 in the early morning hours I suffered a massive heart attack and being the Chief Administrator of a Cardiac Care and Trauma Centre I was well aware of the seriousness of the situation. I was taking a bath at that time and fried out for help but in the closed doors of AC rooms it went unheard. The pain subsided to my relief but another big one hit within a few minutes and generally the second one is fatal. I got dressed immediately rushed out and was taken by my daughter to the hospital while the pain was still severe. On reaching the Cardiologist started an immediate angiography procedure and during that I blacked out twice. They revived me and finally I was saved and my two daughters managed everything superbly.



Jonah was dumped into the sea and he cried out to God “From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help and You listened to my cry… But You, Lord my God, brought me up from the pit” (Jonah 2:2; 6). But I was so scared I never remembered to call out to You Lord, yet You came to my rescue and saved me so that the wonderful “plan that You have for me, a plan with future and hope” (Jeremiah 29:11) may be put into effect. I did not call Lord yet You came- Why Lord?

                I as a Captain in the Indian Army, was presented a Holy Bible in 1979 by a Pastor, at Your command O God, despite my dreadfully sinful life filled with egoistic pride at my personal capabilities. I never bothered to open that except to see the beautiful illustrations, maps and photos or read Your Word to know You. I never entered Your house to seek You or know You and continued in my sinful ways. Yet You did not abandon me Lord and blessed me to finally lead me to Your august presence. Why Lord?

                Lord, You blessed me with the opportunity to join the Gideons  Ministry and elevated me to be a Vice President responsible for distribution of Scriptures to much of North India. There were many more illustrious people available to step forward for this yet I was given the chance. I could meet numerous people in schools, colleges, universities, in various units of uniformed forces to your glory. Lord You opened the door for presentation of the Holy Bible to all the elected representatives of two states in the legislative assemblies and they reverently received the same. It was You who moved ahead of me O Lord who made the Mirwaiz Umar Farook and Sayed Ali Shah Gilani, the two most prominent religious and political voices of Kashmir, to not only welcome us into their houses but also discussed Your Word with us. And this, in spite of warnings from all about probable threat to life and limb before, during or after the meetings. You made it happen Lord for it was impossible for us to do this. But why me Lord?



                You forgive and save me daily from my sinful life that I continue in even after accepting You as a Savior and many times ignore the warnings of Your Holy Spirit. You have blessed me with wonderfully gifted daughters who partner with me to step out for Your kingdom work. And Lord only You could have provided us with this opportunity to witness and carry Your Word into innumerable households through a TV program. But Lord “What is man that You are mindful of him, or the son of man that You take care of him?” (Hebrews 2:6). You created the angels to be in Your Divine presence and You made them into such mighty and powerful beings. Yet they were not given any authority over anything in heaven or on earth. Yet Lord You created man in Your image and likeness and gave him all authority over everything in, on and above the earth and made the angels “who are a little higher” than him to minister to him. Lucifer rebelled against You Lord and You expelled him from Your presence while mankind’s rebellion led to Your Son coming down to be with them, to die for them and to redeem them. But why Lord?

                We cried out to You Lord for life for the new born boy, born into the family of a viewer after more than ten years of their marriage, for whom the doctors had declared no chance of survival due to ill formed lungs. You answered our prayers and did “exceptionally abundantly above all we could ask or imagine” to the surprise of the doctors also. And lord people from all areas of the country are getting blessed through the program and many accepted You as a Savior. Who are we to claim credit for this Lord for it is You and You alone who has done it to allow the wonderful “rivers of water” to flow through us to bless others. Your hand reached out to provide succor to many who were drowning in their miseries and You blessed us also abundantly.

Jonah went into the opposite direction out of hatred for the enemies of Israel to get them their well deserved punishment. Yet You made sure that no harm comes his way and provided him a free ride back to his destination. Likewise Lord we have been disobedient and offend You through thought, word and deed but You still love us and forgive us. You reveal great and unimaginable mysteries of Your Word to us and bless us abundantly and wait expectantly and patiently for us to return to You. We deny You yet Your look towards us is never of condemnation but full of compassion, forgiveness and love. You know all about us for we are totally naked in front of You Lord and You are aware of every thought or action that we contemplate much before we do. Yet You bless us and readily throw our sins “as far away as east is from the west” never to be remembered again. Why are You so merciful to us Lord?



                 We attempt to steal the glory due to Your mighty name and beat our trumpets under the guise of praising You. We stumble an d fall for we start looking everywhere else but towards You, yet You reach out to us and save us when we cry out to You in despair. We put You on the cross to pay for our sins and You pray to the Father to forgive us. We come to You to see You perform miracles in ours and others lives, receive the available fee food- spiritual and earthly and forget about You till another crisis looms large before us. You created us in Your image and we are forever trying to mold You to an image acceptable to us. And Lord You created everything saw that it was good- for it was perfect in every way, yet You tolerate our tinkering with the same creation leading to its gradual degradation and destruction. You gave us Your peace but we keep on fighting each other in direct disobedience and keep the heat up on each other, yet You ignore all this.

Lord who else could have ever given such an extraordinary blessing to anyone “he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do” (John 14:12). And to fulfill these blessings You provided us with the Holy Spirit to dwell in us to reveal Yourself and Your power to us. In Your name Lord we create so many denominations and consider ourselves to be the real inheritors of Your name and oppose each other. And Lord despite all our weaknesses and failings You still eagerly wait and receive us into Your mighty presence when we repent and return.

               Lord if You judge me in Your righteousness ignoring the blessings given to me by Your Son, I will be condemned to the ever burning fire for eternity. Yet Lord You washed me with Your blood and blessed me with the eternal blessings of Your body that was broken for me. And You never expected anything from me for all that I have is Yours and You rejoice at my thanksgiving alone.

          I never deserved this Lord but yet You chose me. Why Lord!!

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