Grieved over the loneliness of Adam, God created Eve to be his partner and helper. Every one is born into and becomes a part of a family with close relationships. However, despite being surrounded by people all around, many times one feels absolute loneliness. And in times of suffering and grief, a feeling comes in as if God has also turned His face away from us. We attempt various things but this feeling persists and many become sick also due to this.
Why do we feel lonely? The way of life of mankind is defined by the LORD God in the first three chapters of the Book of Genesis. Rest of the Scripture provides further details of living a life of joy and a close relationship with God and others. Man was created to be one with the woman, and the two at marriage ‘become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). However, after sin the relationship changed and the curse on the woman is, ‘your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you’ (Genesis 3:17, 16 & 18-19). Man was to work hard to earn a living to sustain his and his wife’s life. The act of covering themselves with tree leaves in the Garden of Eden was an effort to conceal their feelings as well as their bodies from each other and from God.
The woman was made from the rib of a man to ensure their close connection to each other. She was to be a helper to her husband as also to guide and protect him from doing evil. This role clashes with the new role that she is supposed to perform, where her fear is of being abandoned and left alone. Man, being responsible for her care, started giving priority to his work to have more for the family. Thus, the family equation which was to place God first, the second place to the family ‘to be fruitful’, the third place to his work ‘to dominate and subdue the earth’, also changed (Genesis 1:28). With this the false façade of ‘the covering of leaves’ entered into the relationship. Man pretends to have more than he actually has, thus, coming under undue stress; the woman hides her true feelings from her husband to ensure his close relationship with her. As a result, the whole family is under perpetual hide and seek relationship, causing isolation in everyone.
Loneliness is basically the feeling of a lack or loss of close companionship with each other. It is a feeling and starts dominating when we let it influence our thinking process of having been abandoned by others. Each individual is enclosed in his or her circle with a superficial relationship. There are many families where the husband and the wife are barely aware of the deep feelings and desires of each other. It happens because of the mismatch in the quantity and quality of our relationship with each other, about what we desire and what we have. In this situation man, who is created in God’s image and likeness, lost close contact and relationship with God also, who is perceived to be hard to please.
The basic reason for loneliness is the effort to hide something that is not right, just like Adam and Eve hid from God and from each other. All sin is of and like darkness that tends to envelop us completely and hide the truth about ourselves. A man and woman both came under control of the devil and the nature of sin has passed on to future generations. The woman being the one blamed for sin, began to be oppressed by the male. All of mankind became slaves to their desires, seeking various avenues for contentment and the woman became the tool for such joy. As a result, her general status in society reached such a state that, as per Jewish tradition, her testimony was not even accepted in a court of law. Zelophehad had no sons and their appeal for allotment of their father’s inheritance to them had to be arbitrated and accepted by God (Numbers 27:7).
As per Jewish legend a man could divorce his wife for any reason, even for the food not being of his choice or taste. The Pharisees asked a question from Lord Jesus, to test Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ (Matthew 19:3-6). All these situations created an unequal society all over the world, where differences came in due to financial state, colour of skin, family background etc. This created loneliness in individual relationships, more so between man and woman. In this state people made gods also of their liking and started worshipping them for they were not permitted to go into the place of worship also. Thus, the alienation of mankind that started from the Garden of Eden became the basis of different religions, causing further divisions and isolation.
Mankind became so divided, that they divided God also as per their likeness and image. After the effort of mankind to ‘reach heaven with their own efforts’ by erecting the ‘Tower of Babel’, God confused ‘their language, that they may not understand each other (Genesis 11:7). Language became another point of contention in society and people not conversant with a certain language started being considered inferior. This state of oppression is still prevalent in many countries in the world, where a man is never in a relationship of sharing his feelings with his wife or vice versa. The birth of a girl child is considered a curse and the mother tends to abandon her in certain parts of the world, for fear of her own state in the family. Right from her birth a boy and a girl in the same family get treated differently and a chasm starts forming in their minds, which exists throughout their lives. In this state the Son of God was born to heal the fractured society and bring a closeness between various groups.
The expected change in society due to the Messiah’s birth-Prophet Isaiah was a prophet more than 700 years before the coming of Lord Jesus on the earth as a Man. During this dark period of Israel, the people had turned away from the Lord and followed the religious customs of the nations around them. It is during such times that the prophet declared the Good News of the birth and coming of the Son of God. The message was, ‘Therefore, the LORD Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and you shall call His name Immanuel’ (Isaiah 7:14). Apostle Matthew confirmed this in his Gospel account, by further adding, ‘Immanuel – which is translated, God with us’ (Matthew 1:22).
Being created in God’s image and likeness, there is a great yearning in mankind to know God. The psalmist expressed this, ‘as the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirst for God, for the living God. When shall I appear before God?’ (Psalm 42:1-2). This thirst of the soul is felt more by those who are lonely for any reason, their gender, poverty, circumstances of birth or for being discarded by society. The message of Prophet Isaiah was for all people but the message of His birth was first received by Mary, His mother, a woman of the Word but from a relatively poor family. The confirmation of the Son of God being in the womb was given to and by another woman, Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist (Luke 1:41-43). The child in her womb ‘leaped in her womb’ and she could say, ‘why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to Me?
The Prophet defined the ministry of the coming Immanuel (Isaiah 61:1), and Lord Jesus declared the same in Nazareth, His own home-town, ‘The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed’ (Luke 4:18). All of these categories of people are isolated for one reason or the other and within these groups also various sub-groups emerged. The slightly better off, physically, financially or under any other criteria of mankind, started dominating the others. The coming of Lord Jesus is to break all these barriers of separation.
The Jews were given the Torah, the first five Books of the Holy Bible. Moses was commanded by God to tell Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, ‘Israel is My son, My firstborn’ (Exodus 4:22). As a result, the Israelites consider themselves superior to the other nations and people of the earth. In the initial stages of the spread of Christianity, many of the Jewish people and the gentiles accepted Lord Jesus as their Saviour. The Jews wanted the others to first accept the Jewish code of life and then become a child of faith. Apostle Paul who was a Pharisee, a member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish Council, surrendered to the Lord Jesus. Having been on both sides, he could clearly state the equality of all believers. He has taught, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, ‘There is neither Jew nor Greek (gentile), there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus’ (Galatians 3:28-29). To further contradict the Jewish view of being the seed of Abraham, the Apostle said, ‘And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise’. The promise of God to Abraham was, ‘in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed’ (Genesis 12:3). Lord Jesus revealed God to us in His person and blessed us with salvation and eternal life. As His messengers when we reach out with the Gospel message, those who hear are blessed.
Of all the names of Lord Jesus, Immanuel is more significant, for He became one with humanity and only then, the Saviour and Redeemer. While teaching about His crucifixion, resurrection and ascension into heaven, our Lord first promised, ‘I will not leave you as orphans’ (John 14:18 & 16-17). And with that He promised ‘another Helper, that He may abide with you forever – the Spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive’. A believer is filled with the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of power, love and self-control’ (2 Timothy 1:7). By the Holy Spirit we are set free from the control of the devil and his forces of darkness and ‘are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory’ (2 Corinthians 3:17-18). A believer can tell how he does not enjoy sinful life but is led to repentance every time he sins. We are also empowered by the same Spirit to stand against the evil thoughts and desires that the devil plants in us. A believer who does not experience joy in his daily life, must analyse his faith and relationship with the Lord.
Overcoming loneliness in sufferings and pain – Joseph and Mary were both God fearing people from a remote place, Nazareth. For Mary to surrender to the will of God about her pregnancy meant absolute isolation and even death by stoning. For Joseph to learn this meant doubt, shame and even faith in mankind being shaken. Joseph was visited by an angel at night in a dream and reminded about the prophecy of Prophet Isaiah, the birth of Immanuel, God with us. In his loneliness also God ensured consolation through His Word.
David suffered absolute isolation for some time while being hunted by King Saul, out of jealousy. Even under such circumstances David could declare the closeness and protection of God to say, ‘the darkness and the light are both alike to You’ (Psalm 136:12). The presence of Immanuel was so close to him that he could call Him ‘my Shepherd’. When a believer understands His presence like David, transition occurs deep inside his soul. He starts off to call God as his Shepherd and then lists out the benefits that He provides (Psalm 23:1-5). But during the times of trial and tribulation, David feels the closeness to call God ‘You and not He’. The change brings Immanuel real to him, to declare, ‘You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me’. And then comes the surety of grace, provision and anointing from the same God, ‘You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over’.
The love of God is manifested in His mighty presence, more so in the presence of my enemies by arranging a banquet for me. The anointing ensures overflowing blessings in their abundance. My wife went to be with the Lord on 04 April, 2021 at 12.10 after midnight, on Easter Day and my daughters joined to thank the Lord for taking her home on the same day our Lord rose and presented Himself in heaven, more than 2,000 years ago. I do not know what tomorrow brings for me and my daughters, but I am confident in knowing the One who brings tomorrow into our lives. He is Imanuel, God with us, our High Priest in heaven who intercedes for us with God the father. Under His hand of protection and provisioning we rejoice for we are His chosen ones.
Filled with faith in His mighty presence, like Apostle Peter, we, who had denied the Lord of grace and mercy for years on end, can claim to be, ‘a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people’ (1 Peter 2:9). We are chosen by our Immanuel, each one by name, and then called ‘out of darkness into His marvellous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God’. The purpose of this great blessing is, ‘that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you’. Then we can rejoice and declare, ‘in the darkest night, O Lord, when I was alone and lost in my pain and grief, You patiently sat with me, holding my hand, strengthening me and leading me back into a new dawn of joy. And Lord I thank You’.
We are highly blessed to have been chosen by a loving God who neither sleeps nor turns His eye away from us. He is ever ready to reach out and extend His helping hand to rescue and comfort us in any situation. Like a mother, who keeps an eye on her sleeping baby, even while being busy in her work, our God also cares for us. Immanuel, our God is with us and in us to strengthen and lead us to safety from the storms of life. WE feel alone but are never left alone by our god!
